I have always wondered how far and deep could people ever affect you. Acknowledging that you are defined by people around you, that you are influenced by them profoundly and your attitudes shaped by the people you have most contact with is acknowledging part truth, but doesn’t that make you feel a bit less empowered? Even if it does, it makes sense to acknowledge their part in making you who you are for, people indeed play a huge huge role in defining your attitudes, moods, beliefs. It is subjective though - since your attitude to how much you let people in will affect the extent to which they influence you, but I think there must be at least some minimum level to which they affect most of us. Of lately, I think I have begun to believe that there are those special few who can heal you no matter how much of a deep distress or trouble you have been in. That if you give a chance to people, they can act as a Panacea.
To march forward in life with the belief that you have absolute control over it is a very powerful attitude to adopt. But taking cognizance of the fact that making a bit of a leeway for people to enter your life, to listen to your troubles and worries, and letting them give you an advice or two, letting them empathize with your problems, is a good thing too.
In the face of an adversity, like losing track of where you are going in life, straining your relationships, financial trouble, disharmony, disorganization of life plans, failure in a new endeavor, mid-life crisis, quarter-life crisis, name-it-whatever crisis :P, disease, disillusionment, unemployment, whatever it is, we may employ a couple of professionals, search on the internet, libraries, read self-help books for quick-fix solutions, refer to acquaintances facing the same problem and hope to get some sound advice from them. And then you call and talk to that one person who knows you from long time, and whom you know from a long time, someone in a completely different situation or stage of life, and the burden evaporates almost with their 'hello'. They can sense your trouble the moment you speak. They magically know that you are in some deep distress. And you don’t have to expound on your vexed situation or give context as much as you might have to for anyone else. Also, even if you do, they wouldn’t really get it for it seem obscure to them since they have no specific ‘expertise’ in that area. But their soothing and calm voice, the firmness with which they just give simple, generic advice, or even just an ‘I know, it happens... this too shall pass, do not worry’ or ‘I will be there for you no matter what’ is enough. Is more than enough, and far more effective in whetting your determination and preparedness to face the problem than a million detailed things anyone else would have said to you. Those problems which haunted your nightmares and made you feel so grim, just seem so far away and meaningless. I wondered why this happens. When there’s still that problem, that situation looming right in front threatening you with black circumstances, how can a simple sentence make you so instantly calm and relaxed and yet prepared for it? I guess it’s because we realize that just as these people have been a constant in your life, they will be a constant no matter whether that problems threaten to uproot your peace or completely take you by storm, shattering you. Maybe deep down, you accept the fact that no matter how hard you fall, there is a cushion below, since it always has been there. Of course it will be devastating to fall, but knowing that you will rise again, knowing you have a team with you, albeit a highly unskilled team, yet a team having that rare power of being your panacea, your very own all-healing force, you reinforce the belief that you will survive this. And that trust in those people - permanent support system is enough to make you believe in being able to overcome any thing life can ever present to you.
Considering this, I think people are underrated as being very influencing in our lives. They are not just influencing, they are often paramount to us, they inspire us to be grow. They instill bravado. They are the fuel which can make us believe in ourselves, pick us up when we fall down, heal us when we are crushed and trampled upon, inspire us when we are jaded and hopeless, push us when we give in to stagnancy, make us better when we are good, they are more than food or water or medicine. They are almost an unspoken basic necessity. And while time and again we might shrug them off, they still stick to us and stick up for us no matter what. And if you can think of even one person while reading this, then trust me, you are lucky. It feels slightly disempowering yet great to acknowledge the healing power of the life around me. I may not depend on it in totality per se, but having that trust, cushion, keeps me going. And I don’t know what have I ever done to deserve it. Nevertheless here's a heartfelt thanks to all those who have been there for me always, and a promise to reciprocate the same.
