Half Empty

He looked at her half empty glass of vodka from the other side of the bar. It seemed very odd. The glass in her hand. He thought he was mistaken. Maybe she was given to hold it while one of her girl friends had gone to use the restroom. He stared at that dimple which would appear when she would smile a little. She was lost in a world of her own. The music was blaring, making it impossible to shout out even a ‘hey’. He wondered how she could concentrate to think whatever made her smile in that way amidst this noise. Just then, she looked at him, a slight glance, and looked back at her glass. He reprimanded himself for being rude, for staring like that. He did not want to be signed off as a creep. Not by this girl at least. He looked around a bit, at the figures on the dimly lit dance floor.

Sharp coloured lights – neon, green, orange, yellow shot across those lost dancing figures now and then. They were peacefully lost in oblivion dancing to the not-to-peaceful music. He was very tempted to join them. Yet he was even more tempted to know this girl’s story. To what made her smile when she was looking at the glass. He could not resist looking back at her.

When he looked back, her girlfriend had joined her now, and they seemed to be having a rather happy banter. The friend was a bit unlike her and he could clearly see what her girlfriend could not- that she was not interested in anything her friend had to say. But he had to give her credit for acting interested, she was good at being polite. He smiled a little now. She sipped a little from the glass, and his eyebrows shot up just a bit. She did not look drunk in the least. But now that could explain the smile at least. He had not met too many happy drunks this evening. He was surprised to find this one so easily. The party was now joined by a dude of about 20. He was neat. Pretty damn fine, someone would say. He wondered what she thought of him. All the while staring now. He wondered whether his beer had gotten to him. Maybe it had. His sober self would definitely not allow him to stare like that, that was very rude and impolite. But his drunk self, his true self would not mind staring at this interesting woman all night long. Unless of course she had him kicked out of the club.

She seemed intrigued by the new guy in the group. He could see her starting to talk a little. But the guy didn’t notice her at all. The girlfriend had better moves apparently. A decent guy would back-off, he thought. But the dude did not. He seemed to insist them to do something, probably dance with him.

The floor was getting crowded with more dancing figures now. It was a good crowd and a nice setting. The music loud but not trashy, the lights dim but not creepy. It was sure a good place to let your hair down, he thought. Had he not come alone he would have. He tried to find a dance group, trying to judge which one wouldn’t mind taking him in to dance with them. He might have acted creepy by staring at the girl across the bar, but he wasn’t a creep at all, drunk or not. Pretty polite for the situations he had been in.

He was about to head towards a group which seemed to have strangers like him in their midst, when he looked at the girl with the glass one more time. The girlfriend and dude had left. And so had others at the bar - the man with a beard who looked like a cab driver, and the woman who looked like she was straight out of her office. The girl however, she was alone. With her glass which now empty. She wasn’t smiling. But she wasn’t frowning either. He wondered whether he should walk up to her, whether he would be able to resist commenting on her dimpled smile if she cared to give him one. He debated whether he could control saying rubbish. Not that she was the most gorgeous person he had ever laid eyes on. But there was something distinctly intriguing, something which demanded his attention, he was not sure why. He was debating, looking at his beer can, and her impassive face. Back and forth. It was then, that she met him in the eyes. She looked at him with some emotion, he couldn’t understand what. But it definitely was inviting. She didn’t look at him the way some women stare to give a strong message to back off. He was good at reading people, because he knew, and people had told him that as well. He walked over to the space between them. He wanted her to reconsider talking to him. He wasn’t exactly what he would call in the best, healthy states of mind right now. Not even his sober self felt entirely sane these days. It had been broken a little. And he was a work in progress. More like repair in progress. He couldn’t however tell her that. It was a secret. And secrets are meant to be kept to yourself, he thought. So he would do that, keep everything to himself, even though it was killing him.

She came over slowly. In a very gentle, off-handish way. She didn’t seem too sad for any of the happenings of the evening. That her girlfriend left off to dance with the dude, didn’t seem to bother her much. She seemed to him like a woman of guarded emotions. A type he hadn’t come across these days.

‘So, where are your friends? Off dancing?’ she asked, in a confident tone. 

He liked the sound of her voice. Not shrilly, not too loud, just a bit husky, factual even. Not a trace of emotion though, sadly.

‘I came alone today. I wouldn’t let them leave me if I came with my friends’ he said, high on the beer now.

He regretted it immediately. She would know he had seen. He saw it coming, a look saying ‘get lost’ and her going as away from him as possible.

‘She’s not really too much of a friend. And we don’t even know that other guy. I felt it was easier relaxing here, happy knowing at least someone is staring at me from across the bar’ she said, more confidently now, laughing at the last sentence.

Now that’s a new reaction. He thought. 

But it might just be the drink speaking. She looks more like the girl who has her regular coffee at 8 am and lives the 9 to 5 life. Maybe with kids.

‘Are you married?’ he asked.

‘Do I look married? I hope not.’ She laughed again.

‘No I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I just felt you look like the girl next door who might be married, doesn’t make sense. But that’s why I asked that’

More laughter.

‘Excuse me, sorry I am laughing so much. I guess I am a bit high on the cranberry’ she added.

‘Oh, no vodka?’ he asked.

‘I am not even with people I know well, obviously nothing too spirity’ she said as if convincing herself more than informing him.

‘hmm’

’hmm what?’ she asked, a little too inquisitively.

‘I was wondering why you were smiling at your glass before’

‘I am wondering why you are wondering about that’ she snapped playfully.

He looked ahead now, smiling sheepishly.

‘I hope you have a ride home, you don’t look like you should be driving.’ She said.

‘Yeah, I live right across the street, no ride for me’ he smiled brilliantly at her now. She laughed again like the biggest joke had been told.

‘I’ll help you cross the road’

‘you might give me your number, I’ll call you whenever I need to cross the road’

‘How about, I just pass by tomorrow to drink more cranberry juice. I think I am getting a hang of it now. It looks very interesting. I would like to know how they make cranberry juice here.’

‘So you’ll help me cross the road tomorrow at 8?’

‘yes’ she smiled ,with that dimple now. The dude and the girlfriend were calling her from the figures on the floor, shouting ‘come over’. She smiled a brilliant smile and shot up her hand, showing two fingers and mouthed ‘two minutes’.

She gave him that look again, impassive at first, as if deliberating, deciding, thinking through a complex equation, and then smiled a little, then a little more, and turned around. And with that, she was gone for the night, to the figures on the floor, where the neon, green, orange and yellow lights flashed squiggly streaks to the rhythm of the music.

'Sometimes you need to be a little empty to find something to complete you'

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